Monday, 28 July 2014

The Bizarre Love Life Of Cllr Sam Fletcher

#ThingsElliottSays' beloved friend Sam Fletcher, the UKIP Keighley town councillor for Bracken Bank and Ingrow ward, has some weird sexual ideas. The worst thing about them all is he makes them public. Cllr Fletcher is the man who described to us in graphic detail his affair with a married woman, how he thought lady areas are like mushrooms and why he cannot countenance anyone being a lesbian. To remind yourself of #FletcherGate click here.

But again 'the Cock of the North', as the Daily Star called him, has been talking about his sexual preferences again. At least this time it's not as graphic. It will just annoy Nigel a lot.

I'm sure this policy on Polish ladies will go down well at the next UKIP conference. Whatever happened to Cllr Fletcher's 'good salt of the Earth Keighley lass'?


  1. Fletchers Gaping Cornhole28 July 2014 at 10:48

    FFS I saw this and shit so hard that somehow I stained all the trousers in my wardrobe. It's a lonely waddle to the dry cleaners for me now.

  2. Robert Winfield's Lovechild28 July 2014 at 16:13

    Here's hoping he gets invited onto 'I'm a Celeb' and ends up with a book deal and a story in Hello! Magazine.

  3. Firstly, what's the story here?

    The fact is that we already allow Polish people in to this country to look for work because it's a fellow EU member state.

    As for Polish women being physically attractive, I wouldn't know but for the fact that two of them once approached me about a year ago in my local town centre asking me if I knew of any jobs going in the shopping precinct.

    I also referred to immigration from all countries into the UK, both EU and non-EU, needing to be controlled, as is UKIP policy, which I passionately agree with. We shouldn't be discriminating in favour of migrants from EU countries, as we do at the moment. We need to pull out of the EU so we can have a fair, non-racist immigration policy that treats white immigrants from Europe and (mostly) non-white immigrants from Africa, Asia and India equally, and admits them on merit, especially if they have a skill that this country needs - for instance if they're a highly-skilled mechanical engineer.

    Secondly, you say I made it "public". This was not a public Facebook status, Twitter or blog post or whatever. It is in fact a screenshot of a private message between myself and an acquaintance.

    You have also taken it all out of context. The context is that I took issue with a Facebook friend of mine because he is attending an anti-UKIP protest that is being planned in Doncaster for late September, outside this year's UKIP national autumn conference in the town, which I had learnt about by accident because it came up on Facebook as a 'suggested event'.

    If you're going to do a blog article at least try and portray the story in a balanced light and in the correct context.

    Samuel Fletcher.

    1. A reet salt of' t'earth Keightly lass30 July 2014 at 01:15

      Sad you dont like me any more :(

      Is that ukip policy? people can come here, but only the pretty ones

    2. "Balanced light"? That's rich coming from UKIP...

    3. Don't knock it till you've tried it ;)

  4. Sam, you're opinions on love or anything sexual are bloody hilarious especially as you put them up everywhere. Your position and your political personality further make this more funny. All these gaffes are highly newsworthy.

    1. This is precisely my point Mr. Johnson. This was a PRIVATE Facebook message and yet you are claiming it was a public post.

      Face it, you have no legitimacy on this one as it was truly a private conversation with a Facebook friend. It's not on my Facebook profile.

      You are picking up where the News Of The World left off in terms of disreputable journalism and methods of obtaining information.

    2. Samuel Fletcher's Mam30 July 2014 at 00:49

      You get 'ome our Samuel, ya dinners been on't table for hours an' it's gone cold! You been out wi' that tart from Swallow Street again? 'Er with the six kids by seven different dads!? I'll 'ave you over me knee when you get in, you're not too old, ya know!

    3. If you don't want comments publishing, don't make them. It's as simple as that.

  5. Samuel Fletcher's Trousers29 July 2014 at 10:34

    Elliott, please stop encouraging him. Every comment made about Samuel online invites a torrent of gastrointestinal abuse my way.
    Help me.

  6. Johnson's Dry Cleaners29 July 2014 at 13:29

    Cllr Fletcher, we've got 20 pairs of trousers cleaned and ready for you to pick up.
    The stains were tough, but we prevailed.

  7. Samuel Fletcher's Mam29 July 2014 at 23:44

    'As 'e been up to no-good again???? Wait 'til 'e gets home, I'll tan 'is ginger 'yde!

  8. A reet salt of' t'earth Keightly lass30 July 2014 at 00:50

    :o I've bin abandoned :( why dunt ya luv mi no more :( an 'ave gorra find art like this :'(

    Oh well, pizza time :D

  9. A reet salt of' t'earth Keightly lass30 July 2014 at 01:00

    Dunt bi too 'ard on 'im

  10. I like a bit of Polish totty too... woof woof!

  11. I'm quite partial to a bit of Polish totty myself... woof woof!